


Puella Magi Madoka Magica - Meta Archive

by Rozzlynn



Category: Mahou Shoujo Madoka Magika | Puella Magi Madoka Magica
Genre: Archived From Tumblr, Canonical Character Death, F/F, Meta Essay, Nonfiction
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-20
Updated: 2019-01-19
Packaged: 2019-10-13 00:05:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,897
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17477522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rozzlynn/pseuds/Rozzlynn
Summary: PMMM meta cross-posted from tumblr, from a handful of character and ship memes.





	1. Homura

**Why I like them:**

Despite being a pretty timid teenager originally, she spent years fighting with everything she had in a near-hopeless effort to save her best friend / first love. And whenever you imagine what an awful effect that would have on a kid, you realise you can see it in the way she acts.

**Why I don’t:**

She stopped listening to Madoka.

**Favorite episode/scene:**

Her backstory ep. Go Moemura! Swing that golf club! You’re unstoppable! :P  
  
**Favorite line:**

“I’m sorry, I’m not making any sense. I’m scaring you, aren’t I?”

**Favorite outfit:**

Her magical girl outfit, I guess? The official art of other outfits can be nice, but her main one really suits her.

**OTP:**

Well, she’s only really interested in Madoka so far, and that’s probably not going to change any time soon.

**Non-romantic OTP:**

She and Madoka aren’t actually in a romantic relationship, though. And if she carries on this way, they never will be. Unless they die together, the way Rebellion was originally going to end. But that’s pretty squicky, the idea of both of them losing their lives so young, so it's not something I'd romanticise either.

**Headcanon:**

She tried to save the rest of the group whenever possible in the early timelines, though she wouldn’t have turned back time for them if Madoka had lived, and only gave up on them when seeing things go wrong every time convinced her that they were doomed once they'd made a contract.

**Unpopular opinion:**

What’s unpopular? People seem to agree that she’s fragile and messed up, even after getting battle-hardened. Maybe that you don’t need to be all ‘Homura did nothing wrong’ to acknowledge that she tried her best, if there was ever anything sincere about that meme? She accomplished a lot despite her mistakes, and those mistakes were comparable in severity those made by most of the rest of the cast (losing perspective, witching out, committing or contemplating murder, etc). Since she wiped the slate clean for the others by resetting the timeline, her actions have more long-lasting consequences at this point.

**A wish for them:**

Ask Madoka’s opinion of the plot in a situation where she remembers it, and heed her wishes.

**An oh-god-please-don’t-ever-happen for them:**

I would say ‘for Madoka to fall completely out of love with her’, but that might actually be good for her after Rebellion. And if the plot continued to twist and turn, they could still have the option of rebuilding their friendship. So, uh… I get the feeling she’s been through almost everything else. Oh, except... don't let her die after watching Madoka die, knowing it's the end for both of them.

**5 words to best describe them:**

Trauma, devotion, desperation, and selective vision.

**My nickname for them:**

Moemura’s good, when applicable. Considering how Madoka can reduce her to tears, it’s arguably applicable the whole time, though it wouldn’t be such a useful nickname that way.


	2. Madoka

Things I'd keep in mind when writing Madoka:  
  
* Beforehand, I’d play the ending theme again. It always makes me cry, and it’s worth keeping in mind as an indication of what hope means to her. (The subs I'm used to don't seem to be the only translation around, but still: ) 'One day, perhaps the light of love shining in your eyes will surpass time and fulfill one dream of this scarred world. If you would slake your desires, there is no future but casting off your pride. When I was a girl, I dreamed of you wielding something like ancient magic. I want to be by your side as you smile, filled with the strength to smash even gods. In my trembling hand, I grasp the courage of a laurel. Relying only on my emotions, my prayer awakens the light.'  
  
* She saved the world from Kyubey. Without the law of cycles, he’d have kept killing children until the manifestations of their grief and despair became powerful enough to destroy the planet.  
  
* If someone tells Madoka that it’s wrong to hope, she’ll tell them they’re wrong every time.  
  
* She’s only 14, and she dies every time. Even as Godoka, she exists in the same plane as ‘I thought I died with no regrets’ Sayaka, and can’t interact with the living until she meets them on their deathbed (if they die by witching out). In a way, Sayaka acts like a canary for her best friend, being the first to die from the dangers of the path they take. In almost every timeline, Makoda started out full of confidence as a magical girl, taking pride in her ability to protect people by placing her life on the line, only to realise that she’d made a mistake when she met a violent death. Again and again, her dying wish was for Homura to keep her from making the same mistake twice. If her defining characteristic is that she never gave up hope, it was at least partly because she always knew by the end that Homura could give her a chance of starting over. And that’s exactly what she did, by trying to convince human!Madoka that she shouldn’t feel worthless and depressed about staying out of the fight, then promising MagicalGirl!Madoka that she’d do a better job of it next time. Considering she had to re-affirm that promise while Madoka died in her arms every month for years of her short life, it’s not too surprising that Homura’s breaking point was the timeline where Madoka finally wanted to stay dead. And wow, even if Madoka’s heroics are amazing, no fourteen year old should be placed in a position where they have to die to protect the people they care about. And for her to feel that she’s useless until she makes that sacrifice – it says a lot about her low self esteem, and how vulnerable children are to manipulation by ruthless ~~adults~~ aliens. Helping others may be an important building block of self esteem, but there’s a difference between growing up to be able to contribute to society, versus martyring oneself as a child.  
  
* As stated in an interview, Madoka couldn’t understand later-timeline Homura until she became omniscient. Without remembering what they’d been through, she couldn’t grasp why Homura would, say, try to kill her friends, or cry on her shoulder, or give her a garbled explanation of the reason it was all so difficult to explain. While she’s alive and amnesiac, Madoka can’t understand her own life, or participate as an equal in any sort of relationship with her ‘very best friend’. As things stand, it doesn’t seem like she’ll be able to regain that understanding until they return to the afterlife – and even if she’s omniscient and (at least initially) content as a child god, even if they could be ‘happy forever’ by dying together, that option reeks of lovers’ suicides. And of those terrifying Victorian bedtime prayers where good little children hope to die as innocents in their sleep, so that they might spend a joyous eternity with God. All in all, Rebellion has left Madoka in an awful mess, but I can see why the creators were concerned that the burden of godhood might be too much for a girl her age to bear. She’s sweet and loving, and she has a habit of drawing strength from being self-sacrificing until she finds out that she’s given more of herself than she could afford to give. If her parents, rather than her love interest, were the ones grounding her to Earth and ordering her to live, it’d be far less squicky. I’m not entirely sure how to write her path forwards at this stage of the plot.


	3. The anime

**Good points:**  
  
* The characters, since they’re all written with so much personality and complexity, and so many moments of awesome - in a positive triumphant way sometimes, and other times ‘wow that is such epic fail, but she’s sure giving it her all, it’s impressive in its own way.’  
  
There’s Madoka finding strength and determination as she decides what matters to her after going through far more grief and manipulation than anyone should have to deal with at her age… And, uh, all of the girls finding the determination to accomplish their own priorities. Mami wanted to fight the good fight, even if it meant sacrificing herself or anyone else who was destined to prey on innocents. Kyoko’s arc was all about trying to live her whole life in accordance with what mattered most - either herself, or someone who made her believe in magic and miracles again. Sayaka decided to regret nothing, and managed to believe in her choices again when she had a chance to look back. Homura managed to at least keep loving one person, the most important one to her, even as she shut down in all kinds of other ways from the trauma of her endless fight. She made a point of holding onto that determined love even when she named it as the cause of her suffering and despair, and made awful mistakes as a result. Like the others, she clings to her agency, and to a sense of hope and care that should give them a way of resolving each twist and turn of the plot; none of them have truly shut down. They even reclaim their witch forms - originally the epitomes of senseless pain & unreasoning violence from people who are absolutely beyond reach.  
  
(I enjoyed Rebellion as a crisis leading up to a new way forwards, next time…)  
  
* The relationships too! Yay at Madoka’s parents being written as a loving couple with a happy family, with a career mom and a homemaker dad, that’s kinda rare in media even these days. (And okay I don’t watch many shows, but the other examples I’ve seen tend to be more ‘they manage despite the strain but it’s not a work-life balance that works for them all the time and they have to make compromises’, not so much PMMM levels of ‘they absolutely support & admire each other and both feel they’re living life to the full, with no henpecked jokes whatsoever’.)  
  
I’m actually okay with the kids’ relationships being fairly platonic so far, even though I've seen fans complain about the lack of confirmed lgbt content. I mean, that's both because the characters are so young and preoccupied, and because I’m maybe aro ace enough to appreciate _'the most important person! talking and relaxing! hugging and crying! fighting to the death for each other!'_ and hope to see them maybe moving in together and hugging and talking more. (One tends to assume that close relationships will get romantic, because that’s mainstream culture, but not really question the assumption or consider the details except as an afterthought.) Though I’d hope that if the PMMM girls get the chance to grow older and spend more time together without constantly dying, their relationships will get more firmly romantic or queerplatonic, rather than continuing at a level that can be written off as fanservice.  
  
* The sheer power those girls get to play with, and the ugly fights they get to pick between each other and drag other people into, they get so much cathartic drama and they smash the bechdel test, love it. <3  
  
 **Bad points:**  
  
* That line about how only teenage girls are emotional enough to use magic, kinda lol what no. Different people have different emotional ranges, it doesn’t fall precisely along gender lines even when people are heavily socialised into gender roles, and wow non-binary erasure.  
  
* The first time I watched it, the early episodes were kinda slow, since I didn’t know what was going on. The pacing’s much better on rewatch, when you understand the tension behind all the long stares and meaningful silences.  
  
* Uh the naked loli selfcest in the opening makes it pretty embarrassing to rec the series. Okay there’s some symbolism about Madoka embracing her inner strength, but they wouldn’t have depicted it that way if they weren’t going for seinen fanservice.


	4. Homura for another meme

Sexuality headcanon:   
  
Gay. (Maybe that's extrapolating a bit much from a sample size of 1 canon crush, but it's hard to see her getting attracted to boys, since the time she spends with Madoka when they're happy and relaxed is coded so feminine. I guess with anyone agender or other labels, it might come down to how much they have in common with Madoka.)  
  
  
Favourite ships(s):   
  
Still Homura/Madoka, despite everything, though they've got a long way to go to reach a point where they could be good for each other again. If they could get back to a relationship based on honest mutual support and fondness, they could be compatible enough to recover from their troubles. After all, Godoka has proven to be very forgiving and empathic.  
  
Homura's backstory makes it hard to see her with anyone else anytime soon. The drama cds (well the online summaries) and side comics have reinforced my impression from the series: she was bullied in school, and isolated in hospital. Her feelings of complete worthlessness in the first timeline had been a long time building up, even if the labyrinth that she wandered into pushed her over the edge. Madoka was the first person to show her any kindness, her first and only friend, her first love, and the only one in the world who truly matters to her. From the minute she made her contract, she was ready to give up her life to prevent Madoka from dying for her sake - both because she valued Madoka, and because she didn't see her own life as being remotely worth the sacrifice. She'd give up her own happiness and sanity for Madoka, believing that any amount of pain is worth treasuring if it's part of the love she feels for her. She'd reshape the world and everyone else in it to try to create an environment where Madoka could be safe and happy. She'd accept Madoka turning on her someday, so long as Madoka is happy in the end. ...So yeah, by the end of Rebellion, Homura's feelings sure aren't healthy, and they don't leave much space for Homura to feel serious attraction to anyone else.  
  
At a stretch, maybe I could see Homura having a childhood crush on someone she knew when she was a little kid, before she had so much trouble with bullying and illness. Or her alliance with Kyoko could lead to a certain degree of closeness, which she has a hard time valuing as highly as she would if she didn't compare it to her main preoccupation.   
  
Or someday, if she gets a chance to live a few years longer, without a crisis keeping all her time & energy devoted to fighting for Madoka in an environment where time-loops have stripped the rest of the world of its ability to surprise her... then eventually, she might meet someone else with whom she can form a meaningful bond.  
  
  
Brotp:   
  
Definitely Kyoko. She values her as an ally in tough fights, treats her like she can be reasoned with, asks her opinion when she needs someone to talk to, and trusts her to be relatively good at surviving. (Compared to the others, at least.)  
  
  
Notp:   
  
Mami and Sayaka. Well, mostly Mami, as I don't think Homura will ever really trust her after realising that Mami will try to murder her (and all of the others) if she learns the truth about magical girls. There's no way they could plan for the worst together, no way Homura could talk about anything remotely significant without staying on guard.   
  
Sayaka and Homura's instinctive dislike of each other probably precludes romance, but it can be fun to see them trying to navigate the 'friend of a friend' thing. 'Shadow of a Doubt' was mainly an exploration of that potential, where they're not exactly good together even as allies/acquaintances, but their interactions aren't entirely negative either.  
  
  
A random headcanon:  
  
Homura is attracted to Madoka's kindness and emotional strength, so she loves to see her feeling confident and happy. Unfortunately her attempts to keep Madoka alive haven't meshed well with this, ever since she got desperate enough to effectively gaslight and undermine her - and to the extent that she knows it, Homura beats herself up over that too. Though post-Rebellion, she's undermined her own perception of reality, and can't fully recognise the damage.   
  
In the first few timelines, though, when they were both at their best, Madoka's boost in confidence was due to her success in helping others, including the way she'd managed to befriend Homura. Affirming that they meant a lot to each other gave both of them new strength. Madoka overcame her fear of being useless by protecting someone who responded with lots of appreciation and affection. Homura partially overcame her feelings of worthlessness by believing that someone honestly valued her, and that she had something to offer in return. (Though she attributed that more to Madoka being kind than her own inherent value - leading her to judge her own worth based on how well that whole sequence of events worked out for Madoka.)  
  
  
General opinion:   
  
We need more to the story... Canon's given us a dramatic plot so far, but hasn't offered these two much resolution. Homura can't recover from her own mistakes all by herself. None of the girls can fix absolutely everything alone (except maybe Madoka), and they're overdue some genuinely benevolent help.


End file.
